Oscars nominee ‘Anora’ reveals 5 signs you're for fun, not love: even if he proposes
A heartbreaking hit, Anora, just made headlines with a massive number of Oscar nominations. Beneath the glamour, the film raises an important question — how do you know if he’s in it for love or just fun, before giving it your all?
Inspired by this story of a modern-day Cinderella — swept off her feet and then kicked to the curb — Anastasiya Pochotna, a relationship and dating expert at the Flirtini dating app, shares the key signs that your relationship might be more about entertainment than a long-term future.
- The relationship is transactional
The first and the most obvious sign is that he might shower you with all sorts of luxury gifts, creating the illusion of generosity. People mistakenly believe that if a partner spends a lot of money on them it signifies his love but there’s little effort to connect with your feelings or aspirations.
Don’t confuse it with gift-giving love language, because the latter is about the thought that went into the present while the former lacks effort and nuance and only has a huge price tag. If every argument is solved with a redeeming expensive gift or if it’s the only way a partner shows their appreciation, it can feel more like a business arrangement than a loving relationship.
- Superficial compliments and focus on appearance
Again like in the previous example this one also focuses on shallow and superficial ways to show love. I am gonna hold your hand when I say this, but if his compliments are limited to your looks, it’s a sign he is only concerned in how you make him ‘cool’ in front of other people.
When he prioritizes appearances over who you are as a person, he thinks of you like a porcelain doll that is appreciated only for its beauty. Genuine love involves appreciating your character and dreams, not just your physical beauty or social utility.
- Signs of performative commitment
Shocking, I know but even if he proposes, his actions can lack sincerity or follow-through. The proposal might feel rushed or come at a time when you’re doubting his intentions, as though it’s meant to quickly fix something rather than build a future.
Real commitment involves discussing life goals, going through tough challenges and having some mutual sacrifices, not just big romantic gestures that mask a lack of vulnerability,” – Pochotna advices.
- He controls the narrative
In those kinds of relationships, he often dictates the terms like choosing where to meet or when to spend time together, even to the point of what’s acceptable in your interactions. He will avoid asking about your preferences or desires, reinforcing this power dynamic.
Obviously, this is unacceptable, because a partner who truly loves you will involve you in decisions and prioritize your voice equally in the relationship.
- He avoids integrating you into his world
While he might take you to glamorous events and include you in formal social settings, he carefully avoids introducing you to close friends and family. If you see this, it’s a clear red flag you should pay attention to because it signifies that he doesn’t see you as part of his long-term future. A loving partner will proudly include you in all aspects of his life and will be thrilled to show you off (in a good way) to his closest friends and family.
